Parental Self Belief and Love

Me, Bee & Bo - Parental Self Belief and LoveAs people, we are all different. We like different things, dress, think and act in different ways and generally live our lives differently. In the same way, we all parent differently.

Some people breast feed, others bottle feed. Some people use disposable nappies, some use cloth. Others buy noisy toys for their kids, others stick to wooden… the list goes on!

But, at the same time as being uniquely different from each other, we are also all going through the same thing – finding our way through parenthood.

We will all experience that sense of self doubt and worry that we are doing the right thing by our children. We will all feel guilty about some aspect of our care – whether that’s due to working full time and being away from the children, or even the feeling that your child is not developing as quickly as the websites on the internet say they should be.

I, myself, have been experiencing quite a lot of “mum guilt” lately. Since going back to work, I have found that my time with the children has been significantly reduced and I am missing out on things that I would not have if I wasn’t out all of the time. I have also found that comparing my family’s life to others makes me feel like a bad mum – even if I cannot always pinpoint the reason why.

But we shouldn’t feel guilty.

As parents we are all doing our best for our children and we are all pushing ourselves to make their lives as full and as joyful as possible whilst trying to teach them the ways of life and help them grow into functional adults.

When you are feeling frustrated due to lack of sleep or a growth spurt, remind yourself of the time you have dedicated to relaxing them, making them feel calm and loved and helping them to drift off at night.

If you are feeling guilty for choosing to going to work – remind yourself of the money you are bringing in to the family and what you would have to do without that money.

If you are having wobbles about choosing to bottle feed, or not going down the baby led feeding route, remind yourself of the questions and arguments that went through your head before you made this decision and why you decided this was the best thing to do.

You are a wonderful parent, and you are doing a fantastic job. Don’t compare yourself to others and beat yourself up because you are not doing what they are doing. Don’t look at their social media feeds and feel like their life is so much better than yours because there is no sign of difficulties or arguments. They are there, they’re just not recorded.

Remind yourself each day to just do it your way – the way you feel is best. No one is more qualified to make decisions on behalf of your little ones as you are.

And don’t forget that! Have a little self belief and you might just surprise yourself!

What tips would you have for parents experiencing feelings of guilt or doubt about their parenting skills? How do you help yourself?

 

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11 Comments on Parental Self Belief and Love

  1. Lucy At Home
    6th July 2017 at 7:55 PM (3 months ago)

    Lovely post! I think we all suffer from mum guilt some times (a lot of the time!). I think you’re right that you need to remember that everyone has issues and difficulties, even though they choose not to document it on social media #ablogginggoodtime

    Reply
    • Emma
      14th July 2017 at 11:20 PM (3 months ago)

      We do! I think there is so much pressure to keep your social media looking positive that people feel they simple cannot share any struggles there.

      Reply
  2. Jemma @popcornlunchuk
    8th July 2017 at 7:52 AM (3 months ago)

    Great post to remind us all that we’re doing ok! We all need that little reminder from time to time #ablogginggoodtime xx

    Reply
    • Emma
      14th July 2017 at 11:21 PM (3 months ago)

      I’m glad you like! I definitely need that reassurance now and again!

      Reply
  3. Sarah
    10th July 2017 at 11:12 PM (3 months ago)

    Parenting is really hard and there is always more we could’ve doing but we can’t do it all! Being kind to ourselves is really important and try to remember what is was like to be little. Thanks for linking up with us #FabFridayPost

    Reply
    • Emma
      11th July 2017 at 2:06 PM (3 months ago)

      Oh definitely! We are all too harsh on ourselves! xx

      Reply
  4. Su {Ethan & Evelyn}
    11th July 2017 at 11:16 AM (3 months ago)

    It is so lovely that you have written these down and give support to other mums out there who are going through a hard patch. I don’t really have a parental advice – I would listen to others and just go with your gut instincts always works for me. xx

    Thank you so much for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost

    Reply
  5. naomi
    14th July 2017 at 6:47 PM (3 months ago)

    I always feel self conscious and guilty. because I’m not going back to work, I have found a lot of “friends” turn their jealousy towards me in anger- think I am very lucky to the point where I think I am better than them because I don’t have to work, in reality it is far from that because I wish I could go back to work- we actually can’t afford it. we still breastfeed, co sleep at 21 months old, are going to home ed, we still sling a lot and use cloth nappies-so in a lot of way I have always been the outsider. #familyfun

    Reply
    • Emma
      14th July 2017 at 11:23 PM (3 months ago)

      Each parent is to their own and each child works to a different routine.. it all depends on the family. Just remember that no way is the wrong way, and anyone that tries to tell you that can go stuff it.

      Reply
  6. Karen - TwoTinyHands
    14th July 2017 at 10:08 PM (3 months ago)

    I want to wave my Pom poms and flags for this one. So much of motherhood is confusing and conflicted that we should all celebrate each other’s decisions hey if the child is happy and the mum is happy then we should be happy. Simple. Lovely post and ‪Thank you for linking up to the #familyfunlinky‬

    Reply
    • Emma
      14th July 2017 at 11:24 PM (3 months ago)

      Really glad you liked! I am terrible for comparing myself to other mums, so this serves as a reminder to me as well as others!

      Reply

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